I picked up Joseph's tennis racket from a little shop in Cuesta Park near our home. He got a new grip. As the clerk gave it to me, I held it in my hand and smiled. I haven't played since before the accident 4 years ago and it was a wonderful sensation. I loved to play tennis and we had bought the same brand of racket together before we decided to play doubles. It was quite a disaster. Somehow two type As on the court trying to collaborate strategy just didn't work so I went back to playing singles. I loved playing amateur tournaments and was almost always in the finals for my level. I wasn't a particularly good player but I had incredible energy and focus on the court which I used in particular to play big guys with big strong strokes. I could easily wear them down and get them off course. I was the little energizer bunny - doing jumping jacks in 100 degree weather while they stave me off by re-tying their shoes or wiping themselves down with large towels or even going inside their pockets for strategy tips on little pieces of paper. My weak point was compassion. I almost threw a game for a guy who after four and a half hours was limping, almost vomiting on the court and still determined to beat me. I begged him to quit and return to the game another time. But he knew the rules and he wouldn't forfeit the game to me after this long. I would lose focus seeing how awful he looked and even though my determination had waned as we battled for over 4 hours. My determination, however, can me going. I won the match.
I have great memories of playing tennis and I still love to watch people play. But most of all, I am so glad to see my husband playing again. For years, he didn't hike, or bike, or play tennis with friends since those were things we did together. He has moved on and is once again enjoying those things with friends. We have just found different things to do together. Life works out- maybe not the way you want but you get what you need. Always.
Coaching Question- What have you replaced what you couldn't do before with what you can do now?
I am one of 249 million Americans who have health insurance as Michael Moore highlighted in his movie. I struggled to pay the premiums on my coverage as they kept going up faster than my business was growing. I had a small surgery in my twenties and it turned out to be endosalpingiosis (don't ask). It was done on an outpatient basis and my condition was fixed with proper medication. That was in the early 80's. My Blue Shield coverage paid for everything over my deductible except for one thing--- the surgeon's fee, which happened to be the bulk of the $3500 fee. I fought them over a two year period through phone calls and letters much to the dismay of my business partners who kept harassing me to let it go). But I didn't, and I got the money out of them but it probably cost me more in time and energy than the few bucks I got back. But- it was the principal of the thing, I thought.
I had switched to Kaiser and in the 90s they started raising my health insurance premiums to over thirty percent a year. I debated just dropping it with my brother, Allen, over dinner. I had never been healthier- I was running and mountain biking, and hiking and felt great and bursting with energy. My brother talked me out of it and I am glad he did because a couple of years later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Even though I caught it early, I had a history in my family (my mother died of it) and so I went for the most aggressive treatment- chemo and radiation. Fearing the worst, I worked part-time and laid low by attending meditation retreats. Surprisingly, I only felt like I had the flu throughout my whole treatment plan. I got very good care at Kaiser and a year of follow up. The bill? It was close to a quarter of a million dollars. Aha! I finally felt like I was getting my money's worth. Because Kaiser is an HMO, there were no forms to fill out or bills. I just had to pay my premiums and my co-pays for tests and visits. I did come out of pocket though for second opinions from non-Kaiser doctors, oncologists, and pathologists (approximately $1000).
In November of 2003, I was in a serious car accident. Kaiser did not have trauma center that could deal with my injuries so I was sent to Stanford Hospital where I received excellent care and Kaiser footed the bill. Well, almost. After I stabilized out of ICU where I spent about 6 weeks to the tune of $10,000 a day, they wanted to ship me back to Kaiser San Francisco so they could stop paying Stanford. Even though that would have been closer to my home, I had complex injuries that the Stanford folks were familiar with. I cried as I held the hand of Dr. Spain when he came to visit my hospital room to awkwardly say goodbye. I didn't know until later how hard my Stanford team fought the case workers representing Kaiser to let me stay with them.
But they lost, and I was ambulanced to Kaiser SF where I spent two weeks waiting for a re-hab bed to open up at Kaiser Vallejo. Meanwhile my level of care dropped enormously. I was lucky if I could get Physical therapy up to my room once a day, there was never a wheelchair available to get me to the bathroom so I developed a urinary tract infection which was missed and then developed into bladder stones which required surgery after I was released.
When I came home and my husband went back to work. I spent most of my days with a laptop, phone, and boxes of medical bills. In between doctor, nurse, and physical therapy appointments, my "job" was not only to get well, but to get my medical bills paid. Stanford would bill me since Kaiser wouldn't pay. Kaiser wouldn't pay because they didn't receive an EOB (Explanation of Benefits statement). Stanford would say that they sent the EOB to Kaiser. This would go on and on. Kaiser would not accept 1 EOB for my medical care. Instead every single visit, lab work up, medication, etc would require paperwork for each. That's thousands upon thousands of pieces of paper mailed back and forth over a three year period.
Eventually Kaiser threatened to ruin our credit if we didn't pay the medical bills before Stanford paid them. I am sure my medical care was close to the $5 million mark, and with the help of an attorney, we got Kaiser to pay Stanford's entire bill (even though that was part of their contractual obligation to me in return for my payment of premiums). Again, it's the principal of the thing. If I was older though or more frail, I doubt if the principal of the thing would matter to me anymore. And so it goes with these medical insurance organizations delaying payment and making it so onerous to get payment that the average consumer ends up paying twice- once for premiums and another time for medical care- not to mention the time and stress wasted.
It's all good though. I had fun with it. As I said to the Kaiser rep- "I am home now since spending four months in the hospital and I've got nothing better to do than to call you every single morning for the rest of my life for the thousands of EOB statements that I will need and for the thousands of EOB statements that I will need in the future from more surgeries I will be having. So, what is your name?"
"Hold on, a minute" the voice said. "I will get my manager."
Coaching Question- If you were sick, how would you manage your medical bills?