Sunday was the most beautiful day in the Bay Area in a long time. I went to meditation at the San Francisco Shambhala Center and then Joseph and I went out for lunch in the Sunset. Afterwards, he drove me around and it was like looking at an old photo album. We passed by Lincoln Park where we used to play golf, we went by Crissy fields where I used to windsurf when I was young, we passed by the Exploratorium where we would take the kids and visitors and slide down the Tactile dome. We passed by the Coastal Trail parking lot where we used to hike. I could go on and on but you get the picture. These are all activities that we used to do together but that I can no longer do because of being disabled. Does it make me feel sad? In a way, yes, but not in the sense that I yearn to do those things but in the tenderhearted way of remembering a dear moment in the past. Yet I also think about how our lives were so rushed to fill in the spaces that we hardly had time for one another. Yet, here I am sitting in the car next to my husband watching the sun set over the waves at Ocean Beach and making out like we are teenagers. Ah! That's the present moment and I couldn't be happier and it is yet another wonderful memory as I write this.
How would we feel if one of our children was overpowered by a serious
disease and did some terrible things without knowing what he or she was
doing? We should try to view someone dear who suddenly hurts us in the
same light. If we can see that person is out of control and sick with
negative emotions, we will not feel so much hatred and disgust. There
may be resentment, and we may not be able to love that person more than
before, but almost automatically there will be a certain sympathy that
will lessen or end our hatred and allow us to forgive.
-- from "Daring Steps Toward Fearlessness: The Three Vehicles of
Buddhism" by Ringu Tulku Rinpoche, edited and translated by Rosemarie Fuchs,
published by Snow Lion Publications
January 15 was my birthday. I usually don’t like to celebrate my birthday. One year closer to death as me and my brother used to say. We grew up in a household that made such a big deal about birthdays that it was an embarrassment to me and my siblings who were all born with the extremely shy gene.
I have come to rather like them. Not because of the whole traditional presents and cake thing, ( I have no use for things at my age and I am constantly watching my weight) but because they are a good excuse to get people together. In this busy world of ours, we really do need a good excuse to get us all together- whether it be birthdays, superbowls, holidays, etc. Gone are the days when a friend or neighbor would randomly and uninvited (Oh, My!) knock on the door to say hello and watch tv with you. Kinda like when you were in school. Remember those days? Well, it’s hard just to get a group of friends over for dinner nowadays. So any excuse is a good excuse to break out of our schedules and get a babysitter, or take off of work early – to be with friends and/or family. So this birthday, my little neice (who is 9) came over and we baked a cake, went to the museum to see the penguins, and went for a swim. Doesn’t sound exciting does it? But to me it is very endearing, simple, honest, and just the way I want to spend my birthday.
Wow! What a year looking back. It seems like when we review the past our eyes naturally gravitate to the darkest moments- the Asian tsunami, Hurrican Katrina, and for me 4 surgerys. Just as the rain has left us in the Bay Area, so have the blues, and with the bright sun comes hope and success for the future. I will finally be launching my coaching website- www.wholeheartedway.com. I am also involved in putting together a public website for people and caregivers with illnesses, and disabilities. My friend, Annette, and several others are putting a lot of energy into getting this valuable resource up for many who struggle daily with physical pain. Of course, I still study and keep up to date on all things financial. I also occupy a lot of time just exercising which has helped me go from a wheelchair to a walker and hopefully one day, to a cane. Yeah!
It is important as we enter this new year to think of our accomplishments and what we hope to achieve in the future. We must also not forgot the many blessings that we have in our lives.
Happy New Year!