Summer Time People Places

We went back to Half Moon Bay to celebrate Joseph's birthday. We stayed at the RV park next to the Ritz Carlton and there was a lovely beach where Goldie had fun off leash. Friday night we went to the gourmet hot chocolate buffet at the Ritz and sat around the fire pits and enjoyed the view of the ocean and the bag piper player at 7pm -felt like I was at Augusta.

Saturday we met up with friends and had dinner at the Half Moon bay Brewery and then went to the ritz for chocolate, cheese and wine tasting. I wasn't impressed, and wouldn't go there again for that.

Juliana had a low key sweet 16 birthday party. I say low key since her present from her Dad, Carl, was a trip to Paris, France. She traveled alone and met up with relatives in France. Very grown up for a 16 year old! She is looking more beautiful with each year passing. I made a lovely pink pearl & crystal necklace for her.

Goldie passed her Canine Good Citizen test and is on her way to getting her blue service dog vest. Yay!

Joseph's sister, Diane came out with her husband, Vinnie and we had a whirlwind tour of the San Francisco and visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium where we saw the new Sea Horse exhibit which was lovely, and the kids, Vincent, James, and Sophia played in the pool at our home. It was so good to see them all here!

I gave a dharma talk at the Sonoma Mountain Zen Center and saw some old friends, and then we went kayaking on the Russian River near Healdsburg with Goldie. That was a blast especially cooling since it was 103 up there.

Found a fantastic new restaurant -La Bodeguita del Medio which has Cuban food and rum flights and a cigar divan. Live music too. Wonderful! and plaintains too!

Went to the beer tasting the Tran's put on and ran into Michelle Toussaint with her 7 month old baby, Julia and husband. She was Dr. Bellino's physician assistant. I hardly recognized her and she didn't recognize me but saw Joseph and then realized who I was. I like a lot different since putting 25 pounds onto my 90 pound frame since the accident.

I really enjoyed watching the LA Lakers win the NBA championship and found the new First&Main St Grill my new sports bar hangout. Tell Chris, the bartender I sent you. Great bar food, Chimay on tap, and large screen TVs everywhere.

Went to Ellen Sussman's house to hear a discussion from 2 literary agents on how to pitch. I have put that on the back burner since being involved in an intense Coaching program called Project Mojave. My coach, Clay Collins, is really kicking my ass and getting me to move on from just providing coaching services to developing information products. Stay tuned- I am working on my eBook and should be launching within the next month.

Looking forward to exploring the new Deseo Tequila Lounge in Redwood City. Italian owned with aged tequila flights. Should be interesting. Will it compare to Tres Agaves in San Francisco? We will see. Come join us on June 25 and let's find out.

Spring Cleaning (and relaxing) is here!

Since Gabby left, we have gotten back to our personal routines and fixating on the house. We finally got some drapes up in the kitchen and dining room and picked out a lovely modern oblong chandelier made by an artisan in Vermont. We still talk about design ideas for our kitchen remodel. I am amazed at how they do so much for so little money on those kitchen design shows. Just a basic kitchen remodel out here in Cali is in the 6 figures when the rest of the nation averages $50K. But then again- we have the great weather---- and we pay for it. LOL!

Checked out Loch Lomond and did some fishing there-caught nothing but very relaxing day.

Back to catching up with friends and checking out new restaurants. Had a wonderful burger at The Counter- custom built burgers- great concept and great food there. I even got carded when I asked for a cold Chimay!

Got together with Gary & Pam and did the Santa Cruz Winemaker's tasting and train ride in Felton.

Joseph hurt his back and my knee has been giving me a little trouble but we are healed up and back at the gym. I love it that we take time to work out on the weekdays and then have the whole weekend to relax. We used to not work out during the week and jam pack activities into the weekend. Nice change.

We are hosting a pool party and barbeque for Juliana's 16th birthday in June and we also are hosting a summer social for the Silicon Valley Shambhala Center in July. Should be big fun since the pool water is so warm now. Loading up on water toys and such- got volleyball net and basketball and toss toys as well as noodles and rafts. Thinking of getting a dart board for outside.

Goldie is getting better at swimming and keeping her head up so she doesn't take in a lot of water.
Goldie will be taking her Canine Good citizen test next month- hope she passes this time.

Joseph's Mom came out to visit and we took her to the Ritz Carlton in Half Moon Bay for lunch. Excellent food but pricey. We noticed the special events they have and will come back for Joseph's birthday. I booked the RV spot 200 yards away from the hotel and plan to go Friday the 29th for hot chocolate evening around the fire pit and watch the sunset. Saturday the 30th we will meet friends there for the wine,cheese, and chocolate tasting.

My coaching practice is growing slowly and I am working with my coach on a redesign and my ebook. FPA conference is next week at the Sheraton Palace -will be good to connect with old business associates.

I have more time now to create more jewelry and I made a special black onyx, silver and crystal necklace for Mother's Day for Mommy. Sorry, I didn't take a photo. I will be making a special pink pearl necklace for Juliana- she loves pearls. Went to the wholesale Rings & Things Bead show and pick up some beautiful gems (blue chalcedony, kyanite, jasper,crystal, silver,& copper) at great prices.

We are starting to think vacation- maybe a cruise or a road trip to somewhere we haven't been-- getting harder since we have been to so many places. Got ideas? email me at fern@wholeheartedway.com or dm me on twitter at www.twitter.com/fernalixlarocca

Loss of a Child

At 7:45am this morning my husband and I ate breakfast together. The house was quiet and the mood somber. It was quite a contrast from the frenetic pace that our foster-daughter had us in. A strict schedule of breakfast, washing up, getting dressed, making lunch, taking meds and off to school-hubby off to work and me -back to home to enjoy another cup of coffee and my morning meditation before I open the laptop.

The day before a volatile tantrum ended in her request to leave our home after 5 months with us. As a foster child, (even though she is 11 going on seven)-she had that right. Even though we knew it would not be in her best interests and even though her social workers knew it would not be in her best interests, she had packed up her things on Sunday, and a bevy of social workers, psychologists, support counselors, descended on our home for hours to see if there could be a shift in attitude. But it was too late. After sleepless nights and much analysis, we made our decision.

We didn't sign up for a child with deep psychological issues but that's what we ended up with. And even then, we were willing to love and support her but the resources weren't there to support us in getting her the help she needed to thrive in our home. The battle with her mental demons were no match to the strength of what we could do for her ;but the battle with a frayed system that had us begging for therapy and support systems weighed us down heavily--beyond what we were capable of.

And so we let go,,,, gently, gracefully - on her own terms with no goodbyes, thank you, or well wishes. Hours later a tearful child filled with remorse wanted back into our hearts but the door had closed on this chapter of our lives.

Child abuse and neglect is reaching epidemic proportions with disastrous consequences. Judges, lawyers, physicians and other community professionals agree that tax dollars would be best spent preventing abuse and preserving families. Unfortunately, adequate resources have not been invested by state and Federal government to make significant prevention possible. One problem is that on both these levels the political constituency necessary to meet the needs of children has not been organized.

An estimated 905,000 children were victims of child abuse or neglect in 2006 (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2008). Neglect occurs more frequently than abuse and can be equally damaging and deadly. 30% of all child fatalities are due to neglect.

"How would we feel if one of our children was overpowered by a serious disease and did some terrible things without knowing what he or she was doing? We should try to view someone dear who suddenly hurts us in the same light. If we can see that person is out of control and sick with negative emotions, we will not feel so much hatred and disgust. There may be resentment, and we may not be able to love that person more than before, but almost automatically there will be a certain sympathy that will lessen or end our hatred and allow us to forgive."

-- from "Daring Steps Toward Fearlessness: The Three Vehicles of Buddhism" by Ringu Tulku Rinpoche, edited and translated by Rosemarie Fuchs, published by Snow Lion Publications

Stress! My Half-Ass!!!

I have been having a tooth ache. I figured I am in for another root canal- this would be my third. I have beautiful teeth and I take good care of them but since I was in a car accident and lost a lot of weight, my teeth have just gone wild on me- moving around and aching.
When I mentioned this to my dentist- he announced right away that I was grinding my teeth and because I am a new parent- it must be stress.
I get this BS all the time- of course, it is warranted- just take a look at me- I am a mess. I walk like a penguin and have half a hip missing and that's just the latest tragedy- I also had br cancer in 94 and survived chemo and radiation then.
So, of course, I must be stressed- drugged up constantly, depressed, bi-polar and angry at the world for treating me so unfairly-- ---NOT!
This is some stereotypical crap that people make up because it is what THEY feel THEY would be like if THEY had to go through what I went through.
Listen up folks- I am drug free, happier than ever, and feeling healthier than most people living in a cubicle for most of the week.
Can we just stop the stereo types and not assume people are a certain way because of their looks???
Come on, you can do it.
By the way, you can handle a lot more than you give yourselves credit for.

"In the garden of gentle sanity, may you be bombarded by coconuts of wakefulness". - The Vidyadhara, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

Happy Birthday to me

On Jan 15th, I turned 56 - okay age is just a number and I feel a lot younger. I just noticed my first wrinkle on my face so I have been fortunate. Most of my gal friends have already had their botox and lifts and what not. When I was younger, I hated my round chubby cheeked face and as I grew older, I came to appreciate it. I always used foundation since I didn't have the best complexion but it served me well since it has an spf in it that fought off my long sun loving days of my youth. I started a new website committed to all those boomer women that I feel kinship with- check out www.boomerwomenretirerich.com- and that's my wish for all of you- to retire very rich in all aspects of your life.